


Smile

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental wetting, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anniversary, Barebacking, Car Accidents, Depressed Dean, Disabled Character, Disabled Dean, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Honeymoon, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Weddings, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:37:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10970274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: On the way to their honeymoon from the airport, Dean and Cas are involved in a fatal car accident that renders Dean paralyzed and Cas injured. A year after the accident, they're finally set to have their honeymoon, even if it's nowhere near as happy as one's first anniversary should be. But Cas is intent on making Dean happy and has just the surprise in store.





	Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all I have written so much in the last two days. I have worked on All or Nothing, wrote a cockles fic, and wrote this 7.4k mess. I don't know how I wrote this much out of anywhere. I wanted this to be really cute and really short, but it turned out really depressing and long. So whoops. 
> 
> [On a related note, All or Nothing is coming back very soon!]

“We did it,” Cas giggled, flashing Dean the biggest smile of his life.

“We did,” Dean took Cas’s hand and kissed it.

When Dean put Cas’s hand down, Cas leaned in and kissed him.

“I can’t wait until we’re in Amsterdam,” Cas said, the two of them walking through the crowd towards the vehicle waiting for them.

“It’s going to be awesome,” Dean replied, nodding in agreement.

As they approached the limousine waiting for them, they turned around and stood towards the crowd.

“Thank you all so much for coming!” Cas said, projecting his voice into the crowd. “It means so much to us that so many of you came from as far as you did to be here with us today.”

The crowd had a mass murmur of happy responses and well wishes.

“So, we’ll see everyone back here in two weeks!” Dean finished, grabbing Cas’s hand and holding their arms in the air as a chauffeur behind them opened the door to the limousine.

Dean and Cas got into the back of the limo and cozied up next to each other.

“It’s going to be magical, I can feel it,” Cas breathed, looking up at Dean.

“It will be.” Dean agreed.

Cas smiled again and kissed him. “Husband.”

“Husband,” Dean repeated, kissing him again.

“Hey, your brother left these for you,” the man up front said, tossing a bright colored bundle into the back.

Cas pulled two shirts apart, each one rainbow striped with “Just Married” in black letters on the front.

“Cas, don’t even say it,” Dean sighed.

“We’re wearing these,” Cas stated, beginning to take off his tuxedo.

“I’m not putting that on,” Dean groaned.

“Why not?” Cas asked. “Aren’t you proud of our marriage?”

“Fine!” Dean yelled. “I’ll put it on.”

Cas took all his layers off and put them on the seat next to him and then pulled the rainbow shirt on. He looked down at it and beamed with pride and then helped Dean put his on.

“Come on we have to send a picture to Sam,” Cas said, taking his phone out.

Dean sighed, but gave in and smiled big next to Cas, taking a picture like that and then a picture kissing each other.

“Posted,” Cas sang, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“What do you mean posted?” Dean asked. “I thought you were sending that to Sam?”

“I may have sent it to my Facebook too,” Cas said.

Dean looked at him and rolled his eyes.

“We just got married. Celebrate a little before pretending I don’t exist again,” Cas retorted.

“Oh since when do I act like that?” Dean scoffed. “I love you.”

Before Cas could say anything in response, the vehicle shook and screeched as something hit it from behind and pushed it forward.

“What the fuck?” Cas groaned, looking behind them. A car had hit them from behind going rather fast and pushed them out into the intersection.

“Cas!” Dean shouted, looking out the window.

Cas looked at him, but shrieked as Dean grabbed him and jumped from the seat and pushed the both of them over to the side of the car.

A loud horn blared.

* * *

Cas woke up in pain. Every inch of him hurt. The only thing he heard was a steady beeping and the white noise of an air conditioner somewhere nearby. He opened his eyes, but found only one opened. He felt the other one secured down and closed with some kind of cotton.

He tried to talk but his throat was dry and his lips were chapped and the words weren’t coherent.

“Cas?” someone said in the room. “Cas?!”

Cas made another moan. A familiar face was hovering over him. Sam.

“Oh, thank God you’re awake!” Sam exclaimed. “Jess, get a nurse!”

“Sam,” Cas slurred.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, Cas, it’s me. You’re in the hospital.”

“Hahptul?” Cas asked, brows furrowing with concern.

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Een!” Cas shouted. “Wur Een?”

“Where’s Dean?” Sam asked.

Cas nodded.

“That’s a bit of a long story,” Sam said softly.

“Wur Een?!” Cas repeated later.

“He’s here,” Sam stated. “He’s here, too.”

“Lif?” Cas asked.

“Yes, he’s living,” Sam replied. “Well, alive at least. I don’t know if I’d call it living.”

“Wat ya men?” Cas exclaimed.

“He’s okay,” Sam said, taking Cas’s hand. “He’s not going to die or anything. I’ll have his doctor come talk to you in a minute, okay?”

Cas wasn’t happy, but was in no position to argue.

“Well good morning!” A doctor said, entering the room with a big smile. “I’m glad to see you awake finally.”

“Wut happn?” Cas replied.

“Try not to talk to much,” she replied. “I don’t want you to risk tearing your stitches.

Cas slowly pulled his arm up and touched his face. There were bandages all across the right side of his face and a few butterfly bandages on the left side.

“Your face smashed into the windshield and you got cut up pretty badly. We had to do 17 stitches overall just on your face,” she explained. “But if you pull any out, it could complicate further and cause worse scarring.”

“Phone,” Cas whispered.

Sam reached for his pocket and unlocked his phone and put it in Cas’s hands.

“Up,” Cas said.

The doctor began moving the hospital bed up and Cas groaned at how in pain and stiff he felt.

Once he could see the screen, he looked back up at the doctor.

“Do you remember what happened?” she asked.

Cas nodded, typing into the phone. He had Google Translate open and he typed into the English field and then played the audio from it.

“I just got married,” the phone played.

“Yes,” the doctor stated. “You were on your way to the airport and got rear-ended by a very drunk driver. You were pushed into oncoming traffic and straight into the path of a semi-truck.”

Cas looked down at the phone again.

“How am I alive?” it played.

“Honestly, luck,” she answered. “You got pushed through the window. If you didn’t, you probably would have broken your neck from the pressure.”

Cas typed again into the phone.

“What happened to Dean?”

“I’m not his doctor, so I can’t go over that with you. He’s in another ward. He’s not under my jurisdiction.” she said.

“Where is he?”

“He’s in the critical care unit,” she responded.

“Why? How long?”

“From what I was told, he had to undergo multiple surgeries and will need more before he’s going to be able to leave,” she replied. “You’ve been here four days.”

“I want to see him.”

“You just woke up. You shouldn’t be going anywhere,” she stated.

Cas snarled at her and turned the volume all the way up on the phone.

“I WANT TO SEE MY HUSBAND”

“Take him,” Sam said. “You have my approval.”

“You can’t walk,” she stated. “Your leg was broken. It was crushed by the impact. We’ve already performed surgery to reassemble it, but it will require a long healing process to keep it stable.”

Cas nodded.

“I’ll have them bring a wheelchair for you once we’re done here, okay?”

Cas nodded again.

“Anyway, my name is Ellen Harvelle and I’m going to be your overseeing doctor for your stay with us,” she stated. “You suffered a number of injuries including the aforementioned complex fracture of the femur, several deep lacerations of the face and neck, along with some scattered injuries along your torso and arm from debris and glass.”

Cas nodded once more.

“You’re going to be okay and as long as you do what all your doctors tell you once you get out of here, you should make a full recovery. You’re most likely going to require physical therapy and mobility devices to recover, but aside from some scarring which we’re trying to minimize, you’ll be okay in time.”

Cas looked down at the phone. “I hurt all over.”

“Yes, that’s expected. Now that you’re awake, we’ll give you some painkillers to take the edge off without sedating you any longer than we have to. You were in a fatal accident. You’re going to be sore for a while from the impact.”

“Fatal?”

“The drunk driver that hit you and pushed you into the intersection was hit by the truck at the same point you were, but unfortunately he didn’t survive,” she answered. “Do you have any questions or any medical conditions that we need to know about?”

Cas shook his head and typed into the phone.

“I just want to see Dean.”

“Alright.” Dr. Harvelle replied. “I’ll have them bring in a chair and get you situated for transport to go see him.”

“Thnk ya,” Cas mumbled.

“I hope you feel better,” she said, patting his hand and heading out of the room.

Cas looked up to Sam and pressed the button on the phone again.

“What happened to Dean?”

“I don’t fully understand,” Sam said. “I’ll let the doctors explain. There were a lot of complications and there’s a lot he’s going to have to undergo to be okay.”

Cas whined and a tear ran down his face.

“Here,” Sam whispered, wiping Cas’s face carefully.

Cas closed out of the Translate app and opened the camera. He switched it around so it was facing forward and he could see himself. He’d been cleaned up and washed so he didn’t look as bad as he expected, but the worst stuff was probably hidden by the bandages.

Cas pointed to his face and looked at Sam.

“I didn’t see your actual injuries,” he said. “But I’ve seen them change the bandages. Most of the stuff under there is scratches, but you’ve got a big gash going down from the top of your head, over your eye, and down to your lip there,”

Cas sighed and moved the phone, looking at the area of hair that had had to be shaved to give access to be sutured and clean the wound.

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered. “You and Dean deserved this the least of anyone.”

Cas nodded in agreement and opened Google Translate back up.

“I just wanted to be happy.”

“I know,” Sam said, giving him a sad smile as some nurses came in.

Four nurses helped move Cas safely into a wheelchair and unhook him from his drip lines so he could move freely.

Cas was able to see his leg better from sitting. It was casted, but above and below the cast, metal rods were sticking out. It looked scary to him.

* * *

When they got up to the ICU unit, there was a nurse there waiting for him.

“Are you Dean’s husband?” She asked, giving him a sympathetic look.

Cas nodded.

“Let me take you to see him, okay?” She dismissed the nurse that had been transporting him and began pushing him through the hall. “I’m going to have you talk to the doctor first before you see him so you understand what you’re looking at.”

Cas looked up at her in concern.

“He _is_ in the critical care unit, after all. He’s got a lot of monitors and a lot of machines, but a lot are just precautionary,” she said. “So it would look pretty scary if you saw them all and didn’t know what they were for.”

“This is Castiel,” she introduced him, walking up to a doctor outside of a room. “He’s Dean’s husband.”

“You were in the accident with him,” the doctor stated. “I’m glad to see you awake.”

“Thnk ya,” Cas said.

“I’ve got it from here, K,” he said, crouching in around of Cas’s wheelchair. “So, Dean got a lot more of the impact from the truck that hit you two than you did. He’s got some broken bones–quite a few–but those will heal. Those aren’t the concern. He is here with us in critical care because he’s post op for a very serious and major surgery.”

Cas nodded.

“When the truck made impact with the vehicle you were in, from what I understand, you were forced out through the window from the impact, but Dean was caught in between the walls of the car. One of the complications from that was that his spine was crushed and there was severe nerve damage.” the doctor explained.

Cas looked at him in alarm and started crying.

“Hey,” the doctor put his hand on Cas’s knee. “He’s going to live. He’s going to be able to go home and have a life. He’s going to get to be your husband. That’s no question.”

Cas tapped on his legs and the doctor sighed.

“We’ve done two very extensive surgeries so far on top of the one we performed to try to piece his vertebrae back together properly. These surgeries have involved over 12 hours of surgery time each trying to put the nerves back in their spot and make sure they work and while we’ve made progress, we haven’t been able to restore any feeling or function to his lower half.”

Cas took a shaky breath and cried more.

“We’re trying, Castiel,” the doctor said. “It’s not impossible I don’t think, but I think he might have to wait until he’s better before starting to tackle that challenge again. There is a specialist in New York who’s been able to help people with similar cases. He’s expensive, but if we can’t help him, I think this specialist can.”

Cas nodded.

“Right now we need his body to rest and recover. He’s under heavy sedation and he’s on a ventilator. The ventilator is not there because his lungs don’t work–but precautionary. It’s working on a low rate just to let his body rest more and on the event that there is a complication and his lungs do stop functioning, it will be there to prevent a serious additional complication”

Cas nodded again.

“Alright, you ready to see him?” he asked.

“Yes,” Cas whispered.

The doctor pushed aside the curtain and pushed Cas inside. Cas whimpered loudly at the sight of Dean laying there, a tube coming out of his mouth. The doctor wheeled Cas up next to him and took a step back.

“Dean, you have a visitor,” he said.

“Ha cah hur ya?” Cas asked.

“The type of sedation he’s under doesn’t render him completely unconscious, but more of an out of body awakeness. When he’s awake he can hear and see you, yes,” the doctor explained.

Cas looked at Dean for a moment and sighed. Dean’s finger tapped the bedsheets and Cas gasped. Cas put both his hands up and held Dean’s hands.

“Een, its may,” Cas mumbled, rubbing his hand.

Dean’s eyes opened halfway and then the outer corners raised a little like he was attempting to smile.

Cas brought Dean’s hand to his lips and carefully kissed it. The hospital had put Dean’s ring back on him after the MRI. It sounded like something Sam must have asked them to do. Cas twisted the ring around on Dean’s finger and kissed his hand again.

“I lav yo-ouchshit!” Cas dropped Dean’s hands and brought his hand up to his face, pulling back blood on his fingers.

“I think I popped my stitches,” Cas muttered, the ICU doctor running over to him.

Dean was rapidly tapping the bed and Cas grabbed his hand again. “I’m okay, Dean. But considering I have proper diction back, I obviously popped my stitches.”

Dean’s hand gave Cas’s a gentle squeeze as the doctor handed Cas a gauze pad.

“Hold that in place while I get someone to take you back down to your unit to get that sutured up again,” the doctor instructed.

Cas grumbled and shut his mouth, holding the pad over the throbbing area.

* * *

**One Year Later**

* * *

“Well, it’s no Amsterdam,” Cas muttered, pulling off the freeway. “But, it’s something.”

“I appreciate this, Cas,” Dean said, patting Cas’s hand.

Dean sat in the passenger seat of the car they rented, his cane resting beside him down by his feet.

“It’s crazy to think a year ago at this time we were ten minutes from being nearly killed,” Cas sighed, glancing at the clock.

“Sometimes, I wish it wasn’t nearly,” Dean grumbled.

“Don’t say that,” Cas snapped. “You almost died saving my god damn life. I wouldn’t have been able to live with the guilt if you’d actually have died, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean sighed. “I’m just being bitchy. You try living with your nerves tied up like a bad weave.”

“I would in a heartbeat if it meant taking your pain away,” Cas stated.

“Ah, shit,” Dean hissed.

“What?” Cas looked over at him.

“How much longer until we’re there?” Dean asked.

“It’s just a couple minutes away,” Cas answered. “Why? Is your leg hurting you?”

Dean shook his head. “No, I just pissed myself.”

“Bad?” Cas asked.

“Oh, no,” Dean replied. “But this is a rental and I’d rather not risk anything here.”

“Yeah, good point,” Cas said. “Do we have a cup in here or something?”

“No, I think we forgot to grab one,” Dean sighed. “I can’t even have a normal ass honeymoon.”

“Normal is overrated,” Cas stated. “I’ll see if I can get over if you want, but we’re kind of lane locked here?”

“No, it’s not worth the hassle. I’ll be fine. You said the hotel is real close anyways, right?” Dean replied.

“Yeah, it’s just up the street,” Cas answered. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Dean grumbled, dabbing a napkin at the wet spot on his leg.

He slipped a couple more napkins down into his underwear just in case and sat back, impatiently fiddling with the handle of his cane.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t feel sorry for you,” Cas replied, flicking his turn signal on and waiting for the traffic to clear so he could turn into their hotel.

“If you could hurry, it’d be much appreciated,” Dean said, stuffing the whole rest of the napkins down his pants.

“I _am_ , Dean,” Cas sighed. “After this car we can turn.”

Dean grumbled to himself as Cas pulled into the hotel entrance.

Cas parked the car and quickly got out, going around to Dean’s side. Cas opened the door for him and lifted him up by the waist, helping him up so he could get a good footing with his cane.

Cas could see the small wet spot on his pants had gotten longer and a couple more wet spots appeared closer to his inseam. The seat was dry at least.

Cas ran over to an employee. “The keys are in the ignition. Room 417. Valet us. I’ll be right back.”

Dean got the room key out from his pocket as he walked up to the door. Cas ran back up to him and walked with him.

“I fucking hate this stupid fucking shit,” Dean hissed, bee-lining for the elevators.

Cas stayed on his left side, ready to catch him if his cane didn’t support him enough. “I know. I hate it, too on your behalf.”

“You hate it on your behalf, too,” Dean grumbled, letting Cas press the elevator call button.

Dean cursed under his breath as they waited and watched, waiting for any of the four elevators to open.

Cas kept glancing back over at Dean and could see the cloth dampening on his other side now, but where Dean had first originally leaked, the whole upper front of his leg was now soaked.

“Stupid fucking elevators I fucking hate technology, too,” Dean scowled. One of the elevators dinged and he turned towards the source, ready to get in as soon as the doors opened.

He stood to the side waiting, but could feel every awkward glance sent in his direction by those who noticed.

Cas held the door open so he could get in safely and then stood next to Dean and hit the button for their floor.

“Here,” Dean said, handing Cas the room key. “You’ll be quicker than I would be.”

“Alright,” Cas breathed.

The elevator was slow and had no music even to quell the tense silence. Cas was standing close enough to Dean that he could hear the faint hissing sound in between Dean’s labored breaths.

Cas looked back over at him again and this time saw the dark patches had gone completely down the inseams of his pants and there was a steady trickle of drops running off the cuffs of his pants and hitting the carpet.

“Could this elevator go any fucking slower?!” Dean yelled, hitting his cane on the ground angrily.

“Hey, that cane cost good money,” Cas said. “Be nice to it.”

Dean huffed and took a deep breath. He was pulling all his muscles to try and get control, but his body was fighting him every step of the way.

The elevator stopped and Dean practically assaulted the door open button. As soon as the doors started opening, Dean stuck his cane out and began hobble-running towards their room.

Cas walked quickly alongside him, card in hand.

As they got a few doors from their room, Dean stopped walking. Cas got a few more steps before realizing Dean had stopped.

He turned around and Dean was standing staring at him, the front of his pants completely soaked and a puddle underneath him.

“I tried, Cas,” he whispered. “I did.”

Cas sighed and gave him a look of pity. “I know.”

“God dammit!” Dean groaned, angrily hitting the ground with his cane again. “Sorry…”

Cas went back to Dean and put his hand on Dean’s back, slowly walking with him to the room.

“Why don’t we get you into some clean clothes and then I’ll go let the hotel know to send someone up to clean this up? I have to go back down and actually valet the car, too,” Cas said.

“Go do that first,” Dean muttered, standing and waiting for Cas to open the door. Cas put the key in and then pulled it out, opening the door and holding it for Dean.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,” Dean sighed. “Make sure to tell them you’ll pay the cleaning fee.”

“I know,” Cas replied, kissing Dean’s forehead. “Let me go put a towel down so you can sit without getting anything wet and then I’ll be right back.”

* * *

When Cas got back upstairs, Dean was sitting on the couch waiting for him, cane laid on the table next to a pile of soaking wet napkins.

“Alright, our car is properly valeted and they’re sending a janitor up to clean the hallway,” Cas said, shutting the door behind them. “What pants do you want?”

“I don’t give a shit,” Dean grumbled.

“Another pair of jeans?” Cas asked.

“Sure,” Dean sighed, leaning back against the couch.

Cas went into the bedroom and went through Dean’s suitcase, picking up a loose pair of jeans that’d be easy to get into and some soft boxers.

He went back into the living area and sat next to Dean. “I love you,” he whispered.

Dean sighed and looked away from him.

“Yes, husband, I love you too,” Cas muttered.

“You know I do,” Dean stated, grabbing his cane and preparing to stand up.

“I know,” Cas replied, letting Dean hold onto him for support. Once Dean got standing up, Cas reached up and pulled his pants and underwear down to his thighs and then moved over so Dean could sit on the dry couch.

“I fucking hate my life,” Dean sighed as he reached down to push his wet clothes off the rest of the way. “And I hate this fucking anniversary, too.”

“Don’t say that,” Cas said. “It’s the day we got married.”

“It’s also the day that ruined my life,” Dean stated. “It’s the day we got hit by a drunk driver who caused my spine to get mercilessly crushed and tore your face up.”

“I know that, Dean,” Cas sighed, bending down and putting Dean’s feet through the leg holes of the boxers. “But it’s still the day we got married. Do you want to get married again on a different day?”

“No,” Dean answered. “That’s not genuine. It’s not the same.”

“Are you sure? I’d be okay with it,” Cas replied.

“I’m sure,” Dean snapped, lifting himself for a couple seconds so Cas could pull the boxers over his hips and get them where they belong.

Cas sat up and looked at him instead of reaching for the jeans. “What do you want, Dean?”

“I want to die,” Dean said. “Marriage is supposed to be something loving and happy and something you look at and smile at.”

“Are we not in love?” Cas asked. “You just said you loved me. And I just said I loved you.”

Dean sighed and looked at his lap.

“Are we not a happy couple?” Cas continued.

“I’m crippled to the point that you have to dress me and your face is fucked up,” Dean stated. “No, we’re not happy.”

“But as a couple, are we not happy?” Cas amended. “Does it make you happy to be with me? To see me? To wake up next to me?”

“Of course,” Dean replied.

“Then our marriage is fine,” Cas stated, putting his hand on Dean’s face. “I love you, Dean. And I’m doing everything I can to try and make this easier for you.”

“I know you are,” Dean said. “I’m just so tired of it all. I want it to end.”

“I do, too,” Cas whispered, kissing Dean’s temple.

“I’m tired of all the surgery,” Dean stated. “I mean fuck, my back’s been cut into a dozen fucking times and I don’t even have full control over my body. I can’t drive. I can’t walk. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had proper sex since before the accident.”

“We had sex a week ago.”

“That’s not sex,” Dean said. “A pity blowjob isn’t sex, Cas.”

“It’s not pity–I love you!” Cas protested.

“I miss real sex. I don’t like having to take turns just to get off. A handjob or blowjob every couple weeks isn’t exactly quality time,” Dean said.

“You miss the penetration,” Cas stated.

Dean nodded.

“Me too,” Cas replied. “But your back is too fragile from your last surgery still. In a couple weeks, maybe we can see how it goes, okay?”

“Okay,” Dean sighed.

“Once we get you fixed, we can have all the sex we want,” Cas said, giving him a smile.

“I’m not getting fixed,” Dean said. “You know that.”

“Someone out there is going to know how,” Cas stated.

Dean shook his head. “We’re so far in debt over the people we’ve already seen. And none of them make much progress. I’m not gonna walk again without help. I don’t want any more surgery, Cas. I don’t want anymore doctors. I just want to take what I can get and learn to live with it.”

“But, you can’t live like this your whole life,” Cas sighed.

“I don’t have a choice,” Dean replied. “Look when I first got out of the hospital. I was completely paralyzed from the waist down. I couldn’t walk at all, I couldn’t feel. I had to shit in diapers and you had to completely do everything for me.”

“I remember,” Cas said.

“I can walk. It hurts sometimes, and I need a cane, but I can walk, Cas,” Dean stated. “They didn’t know if I’d ever be able to do that.”

Cas sighed and picked up Dean’s new jeans from beside him.

“My life is shit, but it could be a lot shittier, too,” Dean said. “You do so much for me and I love you, but you could do so much better than me, Cas. All I do is bitch.”

“No!” Cas protested. “I’m never going to leave you. How horrible of me that would be.”

“You deserve better than some cripple who can’t hold his pee right,” Dean argued.

“I love you,” Cas breathed. “I wouldn’t care if they’d never gotten you to walk. I’d still love you.”

“You’re stupid,” Dean stated.

“I know.” Cas nodded and gave him a smile before bending down to put the jeans up on Dean's ankles and begin pulling them up his legs.

* * *

“Are you almost ready to go?” Cas called into the hotel room. “I don’t want to be late!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there!” Dean replied. “I just need to get my coat.”

“Oh, I already have it,” Cas stated. “I brought it up here ahead of time so you wouldn’t have to look for it.”

“Oh, okay, great!” Cas heard the sound of Dean’s cane softly thudding as he walked with it. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, giving Cas a smile that immediately faded. “Shit!”

“What?” Cas looked at him before realizing the crotch of his pants was wet.

“God dammit,” Dean hissed as Cas reached over the counter and grabbed a glass.

He ran over to Dean and undid his pants. He’d gotten used to it at this point and didn’t have to think much about what he was doing.

“I usually at least get a warning,” Dean groaned. “Trust me, if I knew–“

“Dean,” Cas sighed. “I know you aren’t purposely doing this. Why would you?”

“I don’t know,” Dean said, starting to cry. “I hate this so much, Cas.”

“I know you do,” Cas said, hugging him tightly. Dean held his face in Cas’s neck and Cas slipped his hand into Dean’s hair.

“You know, if the lights are in our favor, we might still be able to get you changed and get there in time,” Cas whispered.

“No,” Dean whimpered. “I don’t want to go out anymore.”

“Are you sure?” Cas asked. “It might be good for you?”

“I’m sure,” Dean snapped. “I don’t want to go.”

“Alright, I’ll call and cancel,” Cas said, pulling away from Dean and setting the full glass on the counter again. “Let’s put you in something dry though at least, huh?”

“I don’t care,” Dean said. “I just don’t give any fucks anymore.”

Cas gave him a sad look and pulled his jeans down anyways. “If we could trade, I would.”

“Yeah, well we can’t, can we?” Dean said, willingly stepping out of the pants. “Leave the underwear. I don’t want to get dressed again.”

“Alright,” Cas replied, bundling the jeans in his arms and going to wash them in the shower. “I’ll be right back.”

Cas ran the jeans through the water from the faucet in the bath tub and then wrung them out and hung them over the top of the shower door.

Dean was sitting on the bed waiting for him when he came out.

“You want to order pizza?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded. “Happy fucking anniversary.”

Cas sat next to him on the bed and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m spending it with you. That’s all I care about.”

“Get me some pants. I’ll still go get dinner,” Dean said. “I know you wanted to go there for a long time.”

“No, if you don’t want to go, I’m not going to force you,” Cas replied. “We’ll sit here and order a pizza.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” Cas said, kissing him. “Maybe next year.”

Dean kissed him back and smiled faintly. “I like mushrooms.”

“What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t know your favorite pizza?” Cas asked. “I know you love mushrooms.”

“I love other types of mushrooms too,” Dean purred.

“I’m not giving you hallucinogens mixed with your prescriptions, Dean,” Cas said sternly. “That’s not responsible.”

Dean pouted and sniffled a little.

“I’ll be right back,” Cas whispered. “I’m going to go down and get an area map and directory and see where I can get a good pizza around here.”

“Alright,” Dean said, letting Cas kiss him gently on the lips and get up from the bed.

* * *

Cas came back to the hotel room after about ten minutes and got back on the bed with Dean. “It should be here in about thirty minutes.”

Dean nodded and laid back on the bed. Cas laid down next to him and draped his arm over Dean’s chest.

“I could lay like this the rest of my life,” Cas said.

“I could too, considering I can’t get out of my bed on my own well,” Dean snickered.

“You sure know how to make everything depressing, don’t you, Dean?” Cas asked.

“Yes,” Dean replied. “I do.”

“I can see that,” Cas stated, kissing his cheek.

* * *

“Cas,” Dean said, shoving Cas in the shoulder. “Hey!”

“Hm, what?” Cas mumbled. “Fuck, did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied. “Pizza’s here.”

“Oh, right,” Cas yawned, getting up. “We got pizza.”

“Mhm,” Dean hummed, Cas hurrying to the door.

Dean could hear Cas talking and then the door shut. “Do you need me to come in there to eat?”

“Of course not,” Cas replied, walking into the bedroom holding the pizza. He set the box on Dean’s lap and got back on the bed next to him.

Dean popped the lid open and stared at it. “This looks fucking delicious.”

“It came from a fancy place,” Cas said. “We may not have had a fancy restaurant dinner, but I’d be damned if my anniversary dinner wasn’t at least fancy delivery.”

Dan laughed and pulled a large piece out. “Ouch, it’s hot. Did we get plates?”

“No, I’ll go get some,” Cas said.

“No, no, don’t get up,” Dean stated. “I don’t need a plate.”

Cas took his piece out and they closed the lid, setting the two pieces of pizza on top of the box to cool.

“Why’d you let me fall asleep?” Cas asked.

“Because I put you through hell every day that we’re married and you need a nap once in a while,” Dean said.

“You don’t put me through hell you dumdum,” Cas stated. “I love you too much for that.”

“You must love me. Look at the cheese on this thing,” Dean mused, picking his piece up and blowing on it. “It’s so thick.”

“That sounds like it be used differently out of context,” Cas replied.

“Is that your over-literal version of a that’s what she said joke?” Dean asked.

“I suppose,” Cas replied, watching Dean take a bite of his pizza.

Dean moaned as he ripped the bite from the slice. “So good…”

“Don’t speak while you’re chewing,” Cas drawled. “It’s not safe.”

“If the universe wants me to choke on a piece of pizza, then it can fucking fight me because it’s put me through enough,” Dean said, still chewing.

Cas raised his eyebrows at him and sighed.

“There, happy?” Dean asked, swallowing.

Cas smiled at him as he put the slice back on the box. He looked up at Dean and tilted his head to the side.

“You alright there?” Dean asked, looking up at him.

Cas nodded and smiled at Dean. “You’re just gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous?” Dean snickered. “I’m a guy.”

“So?” Cas replied. “Guys can be gorgeous.”

“Not typically,” Dean replied.

“Well, you are to me,” Cas said, leaning in and kissing him. Cas immediately brought his hands up to Dean’s face and kissed him harder.

Dean made an intrigued humming sound and Cas pushed the pizza box off his lap and over to the foot of the bed.

“Hey, I was eating that,” Dean whispered.

“It’ll stay warm,” Cas replied. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Am I about to get lucky?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “I talked to your doctor.”

“What?”

“I talked to your doctor,” Cas repeated. “And he gave me some suggestions on ways we could still have sex without hurting you.”

“You talked to my fucking doctor about that?” Dean groaned.

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” Cas replied, grabbing the bottom of Dean’s shirt.

“Because, I don’t need my surgeon knowing that I like to take it up the ass,” Dean said.

“Yeah, but without talking to him, you wouldn’t be getting any up the ass tonight,” Cas replied.

“Fine,” Dean sighed, moaning with glee. “We’re finally gonna have sex again!”

“Yeah, we are,” Cas replied, going back to kissing him. “Sorry about the pizza, but I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Fuck the pizza,” Dean whispered, letting Cas push his hand down the front of Dean’s boxers.

Dean moaned up into Cas’s mouth. “Am I going to end up in some weird yoga position?”

“Not at all,” Cas replied. “All it takes is pillows and something to lie on,”

“That’s a relief,” Dean sighed.

Cas smiled at Dean excitedly and moved away from him. "I'm gonna get the lube."

Dean bit his bottom lip and watched Cas impatiently dig through his suitcase until he retrieved the small bottle.

"It's been far too long since we used that," Dean mused, Cas tossing it back at him.

Cas went back over to the bed but tripped over Dean's cane and stumbled forward.

"Dean would you stop leaving this thing in the middle of the floor?" Cas huffed, glaring at him.

"Sorry," Dean giggled looking at him with a smirk.

"No, you're not," Cas sighed, reaching for his belt. He quickly opened his belt and then took off his pants. "I better not have a sprained ankle tomorrow from your stupid cane."

Dean giggled again and Cas rolled his eyes, pulling his shirt over his head. Cas knelt on the bed in front of Dean and grabbed the waistband of his boxers. Dean uncrossed his legs so that Cas could pull them off him.

“God, it feels so nice having you take my clothes off for reasons other than the fact that I can’t do it myself,” Dean said.

Cas nodded. “Yes.”

He then leaned across Dean and reached for the pillows. The bed had three all together. “Lay back.”

Dean did so and looked down at Cas from his position.

“Alright, lift a little for me,” Cas instructed, putting his hand at Dean’s waist. Dean raised himself off the bed a bit and Cas pushed one of the pillows underneath him there and then put the two others stacked on stop of each other right under his butt.

“I see how this is gonna work!” Dean exclaimed, sitting back on his elbows and smiling at his husband.

“It’s not ideal and still not the same as what we’re used to, but it’s something,” Cas said.

“What I’m used to at this point is shitty hand jobs and the occasional blow,” Dean replied. “I’ll take this.”

“Shitty?” Cas asked.

“Let’s be real, your hands are not where your gifts lie,” Dean replied.

“Your attitude is not where your gifts lie either,” Cas stated, placing his hands on Dean’s knees.

“Well that’s no secret, is it?” Dean mused.

“No.” Cas shook his head. “Not at all.”

Dean laughed and handed Cas the bottle of lube he was holding and spread his legs apart.

Cas moved closer in between his legs, Dean’s feet resting to each side of him. “No pain?”

Dean shook his head. “I’ll let you know.”

“Okay,” Cas replied, taking a deep breath and flipping open the bottle.

Cas squeezed some of the clear gel onto his fingers and then climbed over Dean so their faces could be near each other.

Dean gasped as he felt Cas slide his two fingers inside.

“Please ignore the cobwebs,” he whispered.

Cas chuckled. “I’ll clean them out for you.”

Dean laughed back at him and kissed him, moaning as Cas pushed his fingers in a little deeper. Dean ran his hand down Cas’s other arm, joining their fingers together as he got to his hand.

Cas pushed the fingers in further and moved them around, working to relax the tightness around them.

“God, would you get in me already?” Dean groaned.

“Dean, you haven’t had anything in you in over a year,” Cas said. “I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“Cas,” Dean sighed. “I love you, but I know when I’m ready.”

Cas gave him an odd look and pulled his fingers out. “If you insist.”

“I do,” Dean stated.

Cas wiped his fingers off on Dean’s leg and grabbed the bottle of lube again. He poured it into his hand, pulled himself out of his underwear and rubbed it on, his breath tickling the side of Dean’s face.

Cas rubbed the extra onto Dean and guided himself in.

“Feels like home,” Dean whispered, kissing Cas’s neck.

Cas nodded and shuddered at the sensation of finally truly being _with_ the man he loved again.

“No pain?” Cas asked again.

“No,” Dean answered. “I said I’d tell you.”

“Alright, just make sure you do tell me if you do,” Cas said.

“I will,” Dean promised, lightly kissing him on the lips. “Come on.”

Cas moved his hands away and brought them back up to Dean’s face, stroking his face as he kissed him back.

Cas rocked himself into Dean, being careful not to jostle him too much from fear of hurting him. Dean moaned up into Cas’s mouth, desperately welcoming the feeling of fullness Cas brought to him. And in that moment, it felt like they fit together perfectly.

Cas moved his mouth off of Dean’s lips and started kissing the side of his neck. Feeling more secure with Dean’s comfort, Cas started pushing himself in all the way. It’d been a while since they’d attempted to have sex together like this and it’d been even longer since they’d gotten this far successfully, but Cas found his rhythm.

Dean brought his arms up and around Cas’s back, holding onto him as Cas rolled into him. Cas was probably right and Dean could have used a little extra prep, but Dean welcomed the dull sting of being slightly stretched. Cas panted into Dean’s ear, more out of practice than he’d like to admit. He’d never been used to being on top, either. Dean usually preferred to ride him.

“It’s hard being the one doing all the moving, isn’t it?” Dean growled, his lips up next to Cas’s ear.

“Hard is an understatement,” Cas replied, rocking harder into Dean than intended. Dean’s legs spread out a little more and Dean moaned loudly. “Oh right there?”

“Right there,” Dean moaned, nodding vigorously.

Cas kept his hands on Dean, holding him and caressing him and Dean kept his hands where they were. Dean moaned loudly with every rotation of Cas’s hips and Cas echo’d each of his pleasured sounds back to him until Dean made a noise that didn’t sound quite right.

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded up and down quickly. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“You sound like you’re in pain,” Cas stated.

“Just keep going, just keep going,” Dean said, desperate and out of breath.

“So you are in pain?” Cas asked.

“I’m fine, Cas,” Dean replied, pushing his hands down further on Cas’s back. “I am.”

“Okay,” Cas sighed, continuing to roll himself up against Dean. Dean moaned and then shuddered as he came. As he caught his breath, Cas pulled out from him and Dean put his legs down immediately to ease the pain he’d lied about.

Dean waited for a couple seconds before going back to kissing Cas and rubbing Cas with his hand. It was rather slippery but that didn’t stop him from trying, stroking Cas firmly until Cas was falling apart in his arms, in the ending resolution of leaving a trail of come on Dean’s chest and stomach.

Cas rolled off of Dean and laid flat on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

Dean laid completely back right next to him and wrapped their fingers together. “Oh fuck, that was great.”

Cas nodded, still catching his breath. “That was also quite the hamstring exercise.”

“It tends to be that way,” Dean chuckled, looking over at him.

Cas looked over at him and Dean flashed him a toothy grin. Cas instantly smiled back and started crying and Dean frowned at him.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked.

“Nothing,” Cas replied, smiling widely still. “It’s just–I think that’s the first time you’ve smiled in a year.”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “I’ve smiled.”

“But I think this is the first time you’ve smiled and actually been happy,” Cas whispered, leaning in and kissing him. “Are you in any pain?”

“No, it’s gone now,” Dean replied.

“Good,” Cas said, Dean smiling at him again as Cas touched their noses.

Dean sighed and kissed Cas’s forehead, muttering a quiet, “We did it.”

Cas laughed and nodded his head. “We fucking did.”


End file.
